90210: 1.01 ‘We’re Not in Kansas Anymore’ Review
Original Air Date: September 2, 2008
Well, that wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t so good either, but at least I’m not blind or deaf after catching the series premiere of 90210, which The CW unwisely chose to air in the form of a too-long, two-hour, double-episode block.
Aside from sparing me a couple of my senses, the network’s latest youth-oriented series accomplished something else. Less than two minutes in, the premiere made it very clear why the network didn’t send out press screeners. Who needs their overhyped spinoff of a previous TV show hampered by a wave of tepid, at best, advance reviews? Definitely not a network that routinely limps in at last place during the primetime ratings races.
Last place wasn’t the result of the 90210 premiere, however. In fact, a glowing CW press release the day after reflected the truth regarding the Nielsen numbers for the series opener — mission accomplished.
Withholding screeners and plastering America with flimsy promos touting the return of notorious Shannen Doherty and mild-mannered Jennie Garth produced a huge turnout. So huge that The CW actually placed first in the primetime ratings in the key 18–49 and 18–34 age groups, although not overall viewers.
There, it came in fourth (4.91 million) behind NBC (8.69 million), Fox (6.37 million), and CBS (5.85 million), according to preliminary overnight results. Now the question is will the eager beavers and hopelessly nostalgic stick around for more Beverly Hills brats after getting a look at the mediocre goods.
I will because I have to, but I wouldn’t if I didn’t. Here’s what happened on Epiosde 1.1, “We’re Not in Kansas Anymore.”
After the Wilsons — father Harry, mother Debbie, daughter Annie, and adopted son Dixon — arrive in Beverly Hills from Wichita, Kansas, to babysit Harry’s alcoholic, faded TV-star mother Tabitha, we immediately learn several things: Tabitha doesn’t like Debbie, Annie and Dixon get along very well for siblings so close in age, and Harry’s the new principal at West Beverly Hills High, the same school the kids will attend.
When we follow the younger Wilsons on their first day to said school, we learn a few more things: Ethan, the guy Annie met a couple of summers ago while visiting, enjoys morning blowjobs in his car parked right on the crowded street outside the school (and, yes, mildly puritanical Annie sees); his stuck-up, seemingly vapid, not-quite stereotypical (she’s actually very book smart), rich-bitch girlfriend Naomi probably won’t be too forgiving when she inevitably finds out about the cheating; and “You can call me Erin but I won’t answer” Silver is the requisite passive-aggressive, bad blogger girl with a chewy inside who gets her kicks outing fellow students online for various offenses, real and imagined.
(Visit fictional Silver’s real-live blog The Vicious Circle if that’s your thing. It has archives that go back to July, and people are actually commenting, unless a studio hack is faking or paying for the messages.)
There’s a few more regularly seen students, too, including inevitable (I’m using that big word a lot, aren’t I?) future basket case and current druggie Amanda, but none of them are memorable; they just serve to move the uninspired plot along when needed. Michael Steger’s fast-talking aspiring journalist Navid does have potential as occasional comic relief, but that’s a one-note characterization I wouldn’t wish on any actor. And despite all of the hoopla over the inevitable (darn it!) throwbacks to the original Beverly Hills, 90210, none of those add anything to the spinoff, either, aside from a wee smattering of nostalgia.
Garth’s Kelly Taylor, now a West Beverly Hills High guidance counselor with a four-year-old son of as yet indeterminate male parentage, is there, as are Doherty’s high school musical director Brenda Walsh and Joe E. Tata’s Peach Pit owner Nat Bussichio, not to mention several references to other absent original cast members. The net effect of their presence remains fairly insignificant, though, since they don’t have any juicy storylines. So you have to be a real — I’m talking majorly ardent — fan of the older show to care much when they’re on-screen.
After Annie immediately and unintentionally earns Naomi’s wrath when teacher Ryan Matthews pairs them as “Beverly Buddies,” she gets on Naomi’s good side by letting the whole mentor-mentee responsibility go. Thrilled for the ability to return to planning her Sweet 16 party on Friday, Naomi is even happier when Annie loans her an old English paper to help her write the assignment Mr. Matthews insists she turn in the next day.
But, of course, Naomi just plagiarizes the whole thing, daddy finds out, Annie gets in trouble, and Naomi is challenged to prove to her mommy Tracy she’s not a dummy by writing an original paper on the spot in Harry’s office. Surprisingly — one of only two surprises in the whole episode, hence the “not-quite stereotypical” assessment above — Naomi obliges, and she still gets to do the Sweet 16 thing. Yet, the whole affair is ruined when she receives a regretted text message from Dixon revealing Ethan’s cheating.
A bomb drops on Harry, too, who learns later that Naomi’s mother, a former high school flame, gave birth to their son twenty years ago without telling him and put the child up for adoption. This is Surprise #2. So, now we lucky viewers get to play “Who’s the Daddy’s Grown-Up Baby?” for the rest of the season or until the big reveal. And, in case you wonder, Harry does share this news with his wife, who handles it well.
Other minor things happen, too. Dixon gets jumped by jealous teammate George during Lacrosse practice and then gets in trouble with daddy when Ethan, a witness too cowardly to risk the disfavor of his peers, lies that Dixon started the tussle. After Annie gives him a teen version of the age-old “I’m so disappointed in you/I thought you were somebody else” speech, Ethan comes clean and Dixon gets back on the team.
Annie also gets a chance to be in the chorus of the high school musical when Silver, sorry for dissing Annie on her blog because Naomi interrupted their conversation and lured her away (teenagers!), butts in at practice and convinces the teacher to let Annie sing. Watching Shenae Grimes’ over-the-top histrionics during that scene is the highlight of the entire episode. Is she for real or is she deliberately trying to make viewers choke on their laughter? It’s impossible for me to say, but I sure did get a good, long laugh out of that.
1 opinion for 90210: 1.01 ‘We’re Not in Kansas Anymore’ Review
90210: 1.02 ‘The Jet Set’ Review
Sep 5, 2008 at 5:59 am
[...] first installment doesn’t impress. As far as I’m concerned, 90210’s opener “We’re Not in Kansas Anymore” sits firmly in the middle of the road and is nothing to get excited about. The second [...]
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